How to Spot a Sports Betting Nerd
by Bailey Brautigan
When we picture a “nerd,” we typically think of a Star Wars-watching, Dungeons and Dragons-playing, scrawny little guy with a pocket-protector and broken glasses. This is our archetypal nerd. However, after majoring in Sport Management, I have discovered a different, more elusive breed of nerd. At first glance, you may have him pegged as just a normal guy, but don’t be fooled. Underneath that Braves cap or Steelers jersey, there is a full-blooded sports fanatic that I like to call the “Sports Nerd.” The sports betting Nerd is not simply the guy that watches his favorite football team every Sunday. He doesn’t just own five Lakers jerseys. The true Sports Nerd is completely obsessed with every aspect of sport. At first, it may prove difficult to tell whether one is dealing with a true Sports Nerd, so I have devised a list of characteristics to help identify these interesting creatures:
You May Be Dealing With a Sports Nerd If…
1. He goes “bracket-crazy”- Simply filling out an NCAA bracket every year during March Madness does not make you a Sports Nerd. Even filling out multiple brackets is not uncommon amongst average sports fans, but the Sports Nerd will have at least ten possible outcomes and will seriously keep track of all of them. But he doesn’t stop there. He will fill out brackets for literally anything. He can’t wait for the FIFA World Cup (even though he may never follow soccer), and he is seriously considering filling out a USBC Open Championship bracket.
2. He has many friends that he has never met- The average sports fan knows who plays on their favorite baseball team as well as what position they play and will occasionally bring up these players in conversation. Then we have the Sports Nerd. You would think that he actually has very close friendships with all sorts of professional athletes the way he talks about them. So the next time you hear someone talk about how mad they are at LeBron or how “Tiger really messed up,” you might be dealing with a Sports Nerd.
3. He failed History in high school, but he can list every game in which Earl Weaver was ejected- We all know the last time our favorite team has won the Super Bowl, but the Sports Nerd knows every team that has won any national championship. Ever. He can even tell you who scored the winning goal, touchdown, run, etc.
4. He always talks about sports moments that happened in the past (whether he was alive or not) - I’m looking at you, Cleveland fans. Normal fans can recall watching their team get defeated in NBA finals or remember the joy they felt when the Colts won the Super Bowl in 2006, but the sports nerd feels the pain even if they weren’t born yet. I have heard many a Cleveland Sports Nerd exhibit such torture over the 1954 World Series that you would think that their parents were at least old enough to remember it.
5. He never cries at funerals, but he gets choked up every time he watches SportsCenter- I have seen my dad cry over countless Ohio State football games, but I would not call him a Sports Nerd. No, the Sports Nerd is so involved with every aspect of sports culture that he becomes emotional no matter what sport he is witnessing. Don’t believe me? Just ask the television set broken by a Sports Nerd friend of mine… While watching curling.
I hope that I have now opened eyes to this different breed of nerd because they have gone unnoticed for so long. Remember to keep these traits in mind, and there should be no trouble picking out the Sports Nerds in your life. Scared that you may have seen yourself in these characteristics? Not to worry- I too, am a Sports Nerd.
