When Bush Comes to Shove
Assessing and Assuming the Predicament of the Heisman Trophy Trust.
If I was a member of the Heisman Trophy Trust, I would not have demonized one of college football’s most prolific stars to the point of disenchantment, frustrating the former Trojan into forfeiting what would have inevitably been taken away from him… without justification.
When I first heard that the Heisman Trophy Trust was possibly going to strip Reggie Bush of his Heisman Trophy, which he won in 2005 (Keep in mind that Bush has played four full seasons of professional football since then.), my immediate thought was “Who in the world comprises the Heisman Trophy Trust, and how did they have such huge responsibilities bestowed upon them?” Naturally, I proceeded to look into it, finding out that the Trustees were just nine nobodies, in terms of the public light (I mean, these people don’t even have their own Wikipedia articles.). Have no fear, though, because I have the power of the written word; and, being the creative cat that I am, I would like to take complete advantage of the opportunity to pretend that I am the only presiding member of the Heisman Trophy Trust and determine the fate of Reggie Bush and his Heisman Trophy on my own…
Due to the severity of this situation, it may not go unpunished or overlooked. However, to deliver such sanctions, the Trust (I, Daron Vaught) must reach back a bit. According to the NCAA, University of Southern California running back Reggie Bush accepted money and sumptuous gifts from two sports agents, beginning in December 2004. Therefore, he has been declared ‘ineligible’ for the entire 2005 season, during which he was awarded the prestigious Heisman Trophy. The designations received by Bush for this season, by rule, have become null and void. It is with this in mind that the Trust (I, Daron Vaught) has decided to take a route of determinism in its repercussions in response to the matter. As of September 15, 2010, the Trust (I, Daron) recognizes that Reggie Bush is no longer a member of the National Football League’s New Orleans Saints, due to the fact that he would never have been drafted second overall to the Super Bowl champions without his 2005 season. It will also be observed that Bush’s NFL stats, Super Bowl victory, jersey sales, the fantasy football championships that he helped so many middle-aged men achieve, nor his past relationship with Kim Kardashian continue to subsist, because none of these things would have been accomplished without his Heisman Trophy-winning 2005 season… which no longer exists.
Wow. That was easy. Perhaps Bud Selig should adopt this method when dealing with the Steroid Era. Barry Who?
